Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML
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Top comments
greenfairy_fml 0
you're lucky, if a coworker said that to my dad about me, he'd kick his ass. and yeah, you totally deserved it for referring to her that way.
Hullaballoo 0
Wow, I hope you know now that referring to women by their body parts isn't ok
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Comments (64)
pinkantennas 0
I think if a woman had said a similar thing about a guy, like "nice ass here," the comments would be completely different.
Fmyliferealhard 0
McDonalds is hiring...
Shia_fml 0
Well #50 "spkssd" the last time checked I finished High School, graduated from College, and am now working for Coca Cola... in marketing... fantastic hey considering I am only 21, how old are you? and what do you do for a living? And I actually enjoy hanging out with my brother who is btw only a year younger than me... Junior High? I think not... btw you should not be passing comments like that around... expecially if you don't know a person... it's quite insulting for you to target my comment, which was just a thought from me just like everyone else is, this is a place for us to comment ne?... like it or lump it... I really don't require your 19fusac comment... :) And I am South African... does that explain the "awkward way I write" if you don't understand a phrase I use est. then why not just ask Teef? Making a silly comment like that really makes you pathetic. #58 not all fathers would take things like that likely, but I do agree "shit happens"
rachelforgot2 0
hahaha i fuckn hate HR i love sexual harrassment in the work place makes it more fun eh ;P jk that was too funny thouh! why iare people arguing over this? its funny shit!!!! ahhh has the world gone mad?!??!!?
Meta_fml 0
I love all the guys who are saying it's not sexist because most straight guys talk like that. I suppose it's never occurred to them that most guys ARE sexist.
Konstantine214 0
all HR employees have to have nice ****. Its a pre-requisite for the job :P
lifepwns 0
hahaahaha thats funny. bad timing or wrong time wrong place but **** it, all the people in here crying about you making a comment like that should be shot on sight. #62, unfortunately thats not true. Our HR lady is an old hag and a super **** everyone hates her.
GrkPrincess89 2
Asshole.
tasteslikeloud 0
Remember that thing called "sexual harassment"? Obviously not
some123 0
LMAO, you should be more respectful.. or Hello.. CHECK to see if they know the gal before you go saying "nice pair of ****" jeez. You deserved that one!