Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML
Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML
Today, I left outside a bowl of fine herbs I had painstakingly grown from seeds, so they could get some sun. What did they get instead? My upstairs neighbor's filthy soapy water from washing her balcony. Three quarters of the seedlings are now dead. FML
Today, three weeks after I finally tried my hand at gardening by planting a bunch of herbs and was so proud of my work, I found out that I had actually been watering weeds this whole time. My herbs were actually the things I was trying to eliminate. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML
Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
george_s_4 32
Call an exterminator, get the grubs taken care of, then replant the grass. I know it seems like a lot since you've already put in so much effort but if you keep trying to fix the grass while there's still grubs it's just not gonna grow very well if at all
Tomato_Cheese 22
Use a flamethrower.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
NotGabe 28
I know an excellent plumber in overalls and a red hat who specializes in stomping on shrooms and clearing pipes of biting plants. I'm sure he can handle some grass and grub.
MichaelDeSanta 20
That was truly awful.
hekinokuroihi 20
Maybe an emergency transplant is in order?
SubparAtBest 23
Well maybe call a professional exterminator.
george_s_4 32
Call an exterminator, get the grubs taken care of, then replant the grass. I know it seems like a lot since you've already put in so much effort but if you keep trying to fix the grass while there's still grubs it's just not gonna grow very well if at all
TheMathMajor 26
If it were me, I would let nature take its course and wait for the grubs to move on. But I get that most people wouldn't want to wait long for their lawn to look nice again. It's better than having pesticides near your house in my opinion, though.
george_s_4 32
The thing is the grubs won't go away. They make grub babies who grow up and make more grub babies. If you don't get them off the lawn they'll just stay there and you'll have a grub infested dirt pile for a lawn
TheMathMajor 26
If the grass is dead and the grubs are exposed, they won't have anything to eat and they will be vulnerable to prey such as birds and moles and they will move on. Then you can plant grass with more extensive roots that won't be as susceptible to grubs in the future. It takes more time, but, like I said, I think it's better than having pesticides in your yard.
Tomato_Cheese 22
Use a flamethrower.
NeatNit 33
This is good advice. I mean, it isn't going to solve either one of the problems, but it's something you can do :D
Lifedowngutter 8
Flamethrowers worked for Ripley! I don't think my neighbors would take too kindly to me burning my lawn though!
george_s_4 32
#18 as long as you don't hide in their bushes you should be fine ;)
maz08 11
.
weebitcreepy 5
Gutter grass gets all the manure
28actress 22
Sometimes ladybugs are a good, natural alternative! You can buy some online and then release them at dusk in your garden. They don't fly at night, so they will sit there all night and eat all the grubs and aphids without hurting the grass!
Nyattack 14
Beneficial nematodes can also be used in this situation, try looking into that OP !
Gunny20 25
Ok, crazy idea, but first you let the grubs destroy your lawn, and wait until they move on, and then take the grass out of the gutter and replant it into your yard. What could possibly go wrong?
Lifedowngutter 8
Well, at least the grass in my gutter probably won't be infested with grubs, right? :-P
Sandman0351 13
Ayye I'm from Missouri too
Lifedowngutter 8
Haha, yay! Missourian's unite!