Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
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Top comments
Leia Griffey 3
She wont know you know what it is. couldve started vibrating after you signed for it. just set it in her room and walk away, man! walk away
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
let it run and pray the batteries give out
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Comments (31)
TumblrweedPasses 11
'muuum, your electric toothbrush came' Laugh it off, it's more embarrassing for her really haha
omzz15 23
Say “did you get a back massager or something? The box is vibrating.” Play stupid.
LolCandy 27
Make it look like you put it on an end table/ their bed but it fell off. Upside down or something. That way, it looks like it started vibrating after it fell and you didn’t know- avoids embarassing her.
chosha_fml 27
Keep it somewhere until the battery runs down and then pretend it was delivered that day.
Ksweety_fml 27
Keep like it is. if u open it, u will makes things more awkward.
97mailo 17
Shake it and hopefully it will stop, if it turned on by being moved around maybe it will shut off if you shake it vigorously.
ARISKomuniszt 24
Congratulations. You are hereby presented with "hand"!
AmbrosiaFan 19
Not for you. So put it on her bed and pretend you never heard it vibrate.
Sinshine 28
So what if she knows you know? A vibrator hardly is anything scandalous. But it must be a pretty crappy one if it comes ready to function and turns on from within the delivery box just from handling the box.
purplemonkey 7
Leave it on her bed and walk away