Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with four other people, with one fridge. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML
Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML
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Top comments
lambda_fml 40
Yet you managed to write four.
rivaraven 35
#61, for the next 72 hours. I think the problem is not OP, but you and your ability to read.
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Comments (142)
finch01 18
don't tell them way.tsunami in it. but write Ur name on it. lol
laughmaster 9
That sucks OP, label it and maybe try to isolate it in the back so you and your roommates don't have to interact with it as much
processengineer 9
these brownies are full corn..... actually pack a cooler with ice with towels on top
SlapAndTickle 20
Since we are in the correcting mood 17, it's spelled diarrhea.
perdix 31
Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"
Maycontainnuts 17
Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it.
VeganVampyre 27
Sorry, 28, 17 was actually correct. Look it up.
perdix 31
They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?! You must have . . . *lowers sunglasses* shit doctors!
milanpatel 10
Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it mine.
milanpatel 10
They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?!
perdix 31
#40, your comment gave me déjà vu!
milanpatel 10
Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"
Chanti_fml 26
Why copy-paste Perdixs comment?
Zomg_Okay 27
If you were going to steal a comment, the very least you could have done is attempt to re-word it.
perdix 31
#44, because they are brilliant and awesome!! EDIT: Oops! I forgot to log in to my other account.
perdix 31
#46, what's worse is that his repeating of my comments are less unpopular than my originals!!!