Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
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Top comments
StopDropNRoll 11
What in the world is a tea-cosy?
SadinSherman 16
RIP Dobby
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Comments (92)
emduggs 0
And you... Didnt ask him what he wanted you to do?
NoahEibon 11
Hell, I would've been creeped out but laughing if that happened to me...eventually move seats though. Why didn't you find out what he wanted to do!?
NoahEibon 11
Sorry forgot to add -you-
liamcumby 4
He had clearly just seen a nike add.
baccaz16 0
Maybe he was on the phone with his girlfriend...
cimh 9
Why did you not move seat or call somebody from the cinema? I'd probably vomit myself if I smell the smell of vomit from somebody else.
xtise 2
What would people with hats do?
WTFitsBob 4
You should have gave him the face that Jenna Marbles did on her video 'How to avoid talking to people you don't want to talk to' :D
martin408 0
You deserve it because I'm an illiterate cocksucker
jren207 24
He really just wants you to DO HIM.