Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML
Today, I parked in a "Disabled" space. A woman and her kids comes yelling at me about how I don't look disabled and I was just being selfish. I roll my pants up to reveal two prosthetic legs. She then yells at me that I should have warned her before showing my legs since it could scare her kids. FML
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
unhappybitch 8
At least you admit it.
Baconman345 9
Mom of the year
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (208)
fordneagles 34
Do you lack so much patience and social grace to either A) go around her van or B) wait an extra minute or two? You really are an asshole, and you really do deserve it.
mariet_fml 23
One thing my niece's school hates is when parents try to pass cars in the drop off area. Some kids might be getting out on the left side.
irishboho 1
You are a bitch. My child is in a wheelchair and if that were me I wouldn't have been as nice.
livelobster123 14
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery..
buckdharma 38
if only car horns were attached to air bags.
lashes_to_ashes 14
**** her life for encountering people like you. It's good that you know you're an asshole.
truegamer100 1
You are not an asshole. I would have done the same thing. It just sucks for you that she wasn't doing anything wrong
boz1 3
Dear fml team suck a fat one!
KiddNYC1O 22
You're also a wench.
Miooow 16
Yeah u r not just an asshole but a bitch as well.
dilley86 4
All these corrections on spelling are ridiculous. If you're going to correct, you have to first realize that "FML" is not a word. "LOL" is not a word. Whatever other acronyms or shorthand that kids want to use are not words. Start correcting that. Anyway, you seem like a very impatient driver and traffic always slows down around midnight.