Today, my son handed me a handful of snot he just sneezed out, then went back to playing with his Lego. I had IVF and gave up a career as a lawyer to have this little snot demon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, while blowing my nose after being bunged up for days, it finally unblocked. A solid slimy multicoloured booger roughly the size of a grape shot out, blew right through the tissue and landed on my manager's shoe. Hell hath no fury like a lady sneezed upon. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Funny, they usually don't put that part in the IVF brochures. Spoiler alert: You're going to have misadventures with poop, vomit and other bodily fluids. I'll spare you the horror of what you have to look forward to with a teenage boy, counselor.
JackFaire 27
You don't have to quit your job to be a parent.
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Comments (16)
Jonkbaby 23
sue his as!!!
rozdawg 13
Um, that’s YOUR kid.
thomasthedankengine 11
it wasn't worth it, it's never too late for an abortion
skippydoda 32
Did you think having kids was just sunshine and unicorn sparkles? Welcome to reality