Today, my son handed me a handful of snot he just sneezed out, then went back to playing with his Lego. I had IVF and gave up a career as a lawyer to have this little snot demon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, while blowing my nose after being bunged up for days, it finally unblocked. A solid slimy multicoloured booger roughly the size of a grape shot out, blew right through the tissue and landed on my manager's shoe. Hell hath no fury like a lady sneezed upon. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Funny, they usually don't put that part in the IVF brochures. Spoiler alert: You're going to have misadventures with poop, vomit and other bodily fluids. I'll spare you the horror of what you have to look forward to with a teenage boy, counselor.
JackFaire 27
You don't have to quit your job to be a parent.
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Comments (16)
RichardPencil 32
Funny, they usually don't put that part in the IVF brochures. Spoiler alert: You're going to have misadventures with poop, vomit and other bodily fluids. I'll spare you the horror of what you have to look forward to with a teenage boy, counselor.
kfchicken 31
you have to deal with your teens poop? yikes
RichardPencil 32
Oh, bless your heart!
mekiswrite 21
Money well spent?
wysegirl 24
Enjoy every minute of it!! My older kid used to take off his diaper and smear poop over his crib when he was little. Times may suck but its a joy watching them grow up and become young men.
MandazInTC 33
Don't let your child be a damper. Remember why you wanted him so badly in the first place. You have a lot more days and adventures to look forward to.
TxKitten 8
Yup. Welcome to parenthood. lol
genuinegoodguy 9
Don’t be a doormat. Teach the child or suffer the consequences.
JackFaire 27
You don't have to quit your job to be a parent.
Mathalamus 25
You quit your job and used a fertility treatment for a child. What did you expect...?
BurnInDemonFire 39
You're complaining about your child being a child? What made you want one in the first place?
zeffra13 31
Wish I could like this comment more than once!
icalledhisname 12
I understand the unhappiness with the parenting life. My 6 year old is high needs, currently doing a partial in patient program at a psych hospital. It’s very, very rough. There’s such a stigma about parents who hate parenting and there shouldn’t be. Not every kid is a ray of sunshine.
xxlk4xx 6
yasss! I have 4 kids who I love with everything I have! but I'm also one of those people who hates being a parent! you can love your kids and love HAVING them while hating the job at the same time!