Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom calling me. I'm 90 miles away, staying at my cousin's. Someone shit on the windshield of her car, and she is blaming my friends, and is pissed at me who is out of town, and my friends who I believe were driving to a out of state concert. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, I let my roommate borrow my car to go to the store. Later, I saw a picture on Facebook of my roommate and his buddies with my car saying, "Gone for the weekend!" I work at 8am tomorrow and he won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
kirbinator 0
who has a friend named morris?
xleanne_aLly 23
make your mom pay for it
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Comments (99)
kirbinator 0
who has a friend named morris?
chaps93 6
my name is Morris. do you have a problem with that??
liquidfireKAN 0
all my friends... my name is morris....
Ellifish 2
Do you have any friends?
liquidfireKAN 0
yes, and probably more than you.. well I guess 0 isn't a hard number to beat...
MrFlintstone 5
hey your an imposter
dolphincheddar 10
your mother is missing a few brains cells, possibly a tad too many
futtbuck101 1
It's chuck Norris's distant cousin.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Me
dolphincheddar 10
don't mess with chuck morris.
iLikeWaffles155 5
I was thinking it would be Morris Norris
jonn090 13
hi I'm Morris. I am your father
freshV43 0
I have AIDS
dolphincheddar 10
AIDS has chuck Morris.
Trololololololo_fml 7
Make her pay for a new one. She should've checked with you beforehand, by sending you a text or calling you.
chocolatechocha 8
lisa turtle. Kelly kapowski. Jesse spano. screech. and slater do. (showin my age here)
tori42995 0
why not just take the car? instead of the sound system
neseseal 0
well that sucks
fistnazal 10
lmao 85. wow. I'm really mad I didnt think of that. that was great. thank you.. lol smh
guckylynn 19
Plenty of people do.
littlemissFYL 5
*85, I was thinking of saved by the bell, too! gotta love zac
canucks92 0
my teachers name was Morris lol
Bekll 31
I have a cousin named Morris...
ChucktheNorris 0
38---I HAVE NO DISTANT COUSIN
My_Name_Is_ 5
hope you have learned something. never let your mom keep your keys, they will believe anything, even something horribly made as morris.
xleanne_aLly 23
make your mom pay for it
goshpeople 4
Good idea. Although, it is funny that "Morris" only half-lied. He really did get something out of your car.
KaptainKronicX 5
OP should look on the bright side... he still has a car.
Ellifish 2
Or steal your mom's.....
leader0011 5
agreed. his mom is an idiot for not asking first so it's the least she could do
bellakaykid 6
Isn't Morris a pretty primitive name these days?
Lauren10102 3
my middle name is Morris
thewife5 19
would you really? Sounds like that's what you need.
bellakaykid 6
^ What?
Lauren10102 3
Do you have a friend named Morris, that is the question at hand...
thewife5 19
umm.. he said he did not, therefore it is not the question at hand..
Molord1 0
ya 4, you're dumb as clarke
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha the dumbest ass. #4 follow instructions on my pic.
Miss_Michaela 10
The question at hand is why would you ask that question at all.
95Sins 7
blame your mother and make her pay
ILoveDaWorld 5
that sucks
Madiluvsyuh98 2
your mom
BeastMode5 0
Put a shirt back on your stick figure, it's not that sexy! But yes I do agree, it does suck...
icefshng8 9
lucky he didn't take the car!
BighornB 0
idiot mom alert!
allmidnighteyes 11
At least you still have your car? Unless your car is a shitbox not worth stealing that you put a $7343 sound system into...
sxe_beast 11
Who would put an expensive/nice sound system into a shitty car?!
allmidnighteyes 11
because people in the ghetto tend to take beat-up, rusting-through 1988 Buick Le Sabres and install 4 amps and 6 12" subs in the trunk and 24" fake chrome spinners from Wal*Mart on their rims.
stormracer101 5
seriously? you must not live in the south because that is all you see. shitty cars with loud ass sound systems and huge expensive rims.
HondaKidd 5
IN*expensive rims.
ariannaa_fml 17
26- it's a disguise ;)
jjpj99 0
Scrapers? Haha. Funny mini monster trucks >=D
kaylarosevear_ 2
Never trust a Morris.
TheNewGuy03 29
not even philip morris? awww, i thought cigarettes were good for you...