Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML
Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML
Today, it’s my second week at work. I received a phone call from corporate HQ that they wanted to make our monitors wireless, so they wanted me to cut the red wire from the main monitors. I did so, and my boss walks in, furious. Turns out it was a set up to see if I’m “that gullible.” Yes, I was fired. FML
Today, I was in a video call with my boss when my Wi-Fi decided to take a vacation. I thought I could salvage the situation by using my iPhone’s hotspot. But then my phone ran out of data mid-sentence, and my boss got a glimpse of me cursing at my phone while frantically waving it in the air. FML
Today, our boss replaced all our computers with new Apple iMacs, which have fewer USB ports and none of our software or saved files. He insists it’s all “in the Cloud thing somewhere, figure it out and show some damn gratitude.” We are now incapable of doing our jobs but he insists he’s blameless. FML
Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, I was doing a job interview on Skype when my roommate decided to reboot the wireless router because "the internet was too slow". The interviewer didn't bother calling again. FML
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Top comments
Joshery 14
Maybe you should ask for a raise, he might be stupid enough to give it to you
coldwar252 13
Did you do it?
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Comments (47)
jdcg116 10
Ahahahaha. I got nothing for that. Good luck OP.
jdcg116 10
Ooh. Let me guess he's the pointy haired guy.
salamancer 11
"Sir, I can't do that unless you give me a better computer and work space... Also I'll need some extra vacation days to get the job done. For research."
c_wyld 21
Sounds like Michael Scott.
mike552_fml 2
Thought the same thing
ezrajab 22
Tell him you want the Internet run by elves
swagstatic 16
You can't fix stupid!
aladeen_fml 5
He's probably smoking that good
dubb420 15
I'm sorry, but smoking "good" is not the problem here. most people that smoke are actually quite intelligent.
Levvy 22
Badly hidden self-flattery detected.
CandyApple88 13
tell your boss it doesn't work unless he also chews on the cables, and the power cord just to be sure. the saliva and tin foil mix is the only thing that keeps the network secure. really.
ligerzero459 24
Actually, he's right. It's wireless, meaning anyone can intercept and read the data if it's not encrypted or the encryption is broken.
illinoiscentral 16
Nope he's not. Any company required to take care of sensitive data with sane IT dept has the wifi network completely separate from company network, which is done as private through cables. And you can only access sensitive data through that -- or VPN.
herrsmit 2
Don't forget to say some techie-words! And when he's looking, scream NSA-Particles. Always gets them