Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Be gentle when you break the news to it, but the parrot needs to go to rehab. It might be screaming now, but the next step is orange juice injections.
firegirl1993 21
Polly want an orange
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Comments (183)
caligirl1623 5
Is it that hard to get into your car and buy more oranges?
Nuahavizu 17
That parrot sounds intense. o.o
Samko_chan 5
awwww I have a bird who does the same.
heresIsaac 4
when I first read this I thought you said parents not parrot...lol
neonsugarXx 0
Lol that sucks... But das cutee! :3 he wants an orange. x3
chuko1014 0
man you life sux i know how parrots can be my family in the valle of texas. has 3 macaws and 2 parrots damn do they scream but they talk like literally know english u kan have a hour conversation with them
maximusaurelius 6
Give a parrot an orange, then it'll want some milk to make an orange julius. If you give it some milk, then it will want some more. If you give it more milk, then it will develop a taste for human blood. If it develops a taste for human blood, then it will become a vampire. If it becomes a vampire, then it will need to make followers. If it makes followers, then soon the entire town will become vampires, if that happens then that National Guard will be called in! Then they will become vampires too. Then the President will call in a nuclear strike and the United States will become a nuclear wasteland! Without the United States to control the world's nukes, then every crackpot nation will release their nukes as well! When that happens the world will be destroyed! That is why I had to take the business end of a hammer and introduce you to it......because you were giving a parrot an orange. TL:DR Don't give your parrot any more oranges.
GraphicDesign89 0
I know how you feel! I used to have a parakeet that loved to rip all the seeds off of the mill spray and he wouldn't even eat them! He would just scwak and scwak until I put another one in his cage!!!
jra808 0
parrot got annoying cuz no more oranges? wastes time on the Internet telling about it instead of grabbing oranges
artangel22 0
umm I'm pretty sure that acidic fruits are bad for parrots and that really sucks mines almost the same for peanuts