Today, whilst having a bath, I sucked a cup and it stuck to my face, as I’m sure others have done, right? However, the genius I am sucked it too hard and for too long, and managed to give myself a love bite goatee. The next week at school is going to be fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Dude how old are you having baths and playing with cups? But old enough to be on FML? That’s weirdly cute and...weird lol. But cute! Don’t stop being a playful human with a childlike sense of fun :) Hope you don’t have to catch too much shit over it at school though lol. Elementary or college or wherever you are.
RichardPencil 32
The whole school wants to know who the class cupsucker is. You're going to get a lot of attention with your reputation of sucking too long and too hard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Marcella1016 32
Dude how old are you having baths and playing with cups? But old enough to be on FML? That’s weirdly cute and...weird lol. But cute! Don’t stop being a playful human with a childlike sense of fun :) Hope you don’t have to catch too much shit over it at school though lol. Elementary or college or wherever you are.
RichardPencil 32
The whole school wants to know who the class cupsucker is. You're going to get a lot of attention with your reputation of sucking too long and too hard.
EBrogen 12
Hmmmmm, Naw big dog. That's all you.
BurnInDemonFire 39
How many of the other kids said you had an STD?
Shzusuziq11 12
ummm, no. I never sucked a cup and had it stuck to my face....