Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
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Top comments
marulicko 19
Ok, definitely time to get help...
ruckfules85 34
Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.
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Comments (89)
fifi125 21
And if it was the other way round- you'd be a great parent. What a shame ;)
WavRace 14
Why not give her some vodka, I mean water instead.
horendale 11
I think the life of your daughter sucks way more then yours ?
TheMalygos 21
Time for some help
MDoremis 38
I agree with everyone else. It's definitely time to get yourself some help.
keiNan_fml 35
you need to stop right there! get help OP, don't let the problem get bigger.
MercyFrag 22
At least you were sober enough to catch your mistake; might not be so lucky next time though.. Better get some help OP, we're rooting for you :)
siggy_mcsigx 22
As someone who had an alcoholic mother, this makes me sad for the daughter. Other things have probably happened before this. I hope you look into recovery options. If it's real addiction no one can get yourself there except you. My mum did and failed several programs, but after my dad had a heart attack, which she felt responsible for stressing him, she developed a complete aversion to alcohol, and she's been grand for 4 years.
wookieewhosshe 29
I think everyone needs to calm down. In the states it's called alcoholism. here in Scotland it's cultural :P
swanheart 35
Actually here in Scotland it's mandatory! ;)
Zombinosh77 11
In Northern Ireland too!
Sheepalicious 20
Bad parent! Very bad!