Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
You've really got no one to blame but yourself for that one.
Kurliez408 32
If you're not wearing underwear at least seat in a way which won't reveal it.
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Comments (21)
jfsiv 17
So now you also know whe the guy sitting across the room had such a big smile on his face.
Gwengreen 6
Never underestimate the honestly of small tikes- the more embarrassing for you thy more honest they are.
InnocenceBlue 38
Congratulations on shamelessly stealing an old FML and writing it out nearly word for word. ??
msshaila 3
Exactly !!!
lamb20 9
So, op ,is it true?
Daniel Vitacolonna 6
I have to ask, what position were your legs in, knowing you weren't wearing them, to expose yourself?
jriley4u 17
Your kid is 5 and she/he doesn't know how to stay in her/his seat?
justinb97 16
Everyone criticizing OP needs to get over themselves. Underwear sometimes aren't comfortable and there's no rule that says you have to wear them!! Whether or not they wear underwear has nothing to do with their parenting
T1A2Z3 35
Parenting... want to try it?