Today, I had the girl of my dreams in my bed. She was laughing and smiling, kissing and talking. It was great. Then suddenly she said, "I want to go home; is that rude?" Then she left. I called, but now I'm blocked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, I'd been talking to this girl for 3 months, and she finally agreed on a date. We got drinks and food, then she said, "I'm just going to the bathroom", then never came back, and blocked me. FML
Today, I'd thought that I'd found the new love of my life. She wanted me, I wanted her, we were compatible on so many levels. I have known her for 15 years, and she had asked me on a date. Last night, she unfriended, blocked, and ghosted me. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML
Today, I was preparing for a date with an amazing woman I'd been talking to for two weeks. An hour before our date, I sent a check-in text; no response. After about 30 minutes, I reset my phone as a last hope and received her message from TWO HOURS BEFORE, checking in with me. I'm now blocked with no way to explain. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to send a message to the girl I've been crushing on for years. I'm now blocked. FML
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Top comments
Miguel Gutierrez 4
Need follow ups
tounces7 28
She's probably just really good at faking her personality, and was looking for an excuse out the entire time, but couldn't think of one. People don't make that sort of decision in a split-second.
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Comments (8)
ahabsfan 17
Personal hygiene.
Justkidding100 41
this was also my immediate thought lmao
Miguel Gutierrez 4
Need follow ups
GSQ13 3
maybe she is unrequitedly in love with another guy and wants to drown her feelings
diraven 15
Should have paid more than $5
RichardPencil 32
She wanted the D. Save the talking and laughing until after you smash.
tounces7 28
She's probably just really good at faking her personality, and was looking for an excuse out the entire time, but couldn't think of one. People don't make that sort of decision in a split-second.
brenniman 10
Think hard. Did you go and say something stupid?
Jonkbaby 23
Maybe she wasn't ready? idk