Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Technically, she wasn't lying.
limitedition 25
I'm sure the teacher had heard worse. Kids have a way of making things sound very bad.
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Comments (37)
BlitzPKF 10
Return of the ignorant daughter.
DDCA 24
That's what you get for being the fun police.
StEpHiE1226 12
Out of the mouth of babes...
iwadasn 33
She probably wanted him to model proper manners in front of the kids. Wanting your kids to be polite is not immature, and neither is holding your husband to the same standard.
sugoine 12
Ahhh, the joys of child rearing...
mas1794 6
Kids, they say the darnest things. I'm sure the teacher has heard worst
santemilo 9
This is amazing
LoneBooker88 16
I hope you didn't get into trouble or anything! (I really dislike the social services)
gracefs 11
There are probably nicer ways to ask for things than the tone you most likely used.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
My stories are only things that really happened. Exept for minor detail that I changed to make them mlre exciting. Btw did I tell you how I killed a dragon yesterday?