Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
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Top comments
MrJentipede 2
Thanks for the heads up, mom.
mucrew 0
you should have said "yea i agree"! and gotten into a deep discussion with her...so she'll feel really awkward too! haha
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Comments (177)
fdyourmom 0
[your mom is a ****]I think this could quite possibly lead to a discussion on who your real father is.
Pansy_Fairy 0
Your mom needs to make some friends to talk about that stuff with.
Amorbis 0
WOW... FYL.. FYL good sir.(or maam)
Islander_fml 5
I wouldn't mind talking about that stuff with my mom. My sister and I were with a friend, and we were cracking dead baby jokes and masturbation topics for half an hour straight.
effmahlifeee 0
Hahahaha that sucks dude xD fyl. I think I would die if my mom and I started talking about that.
rverboom 0
you are a piece of sh**. obviously no mother (in their right mind) would talk about sex THAT IN DEPTH with their kid. end of story.
Rauron 0
I think your mom just hit on you.
hellisaurus 0
LOL your mum sonds like a right legend :P!
Sade3z 0
sounds like something my mom would do i feel for u
UnitedArabEmirat 0
What happened to #12? All he said was that he REALLY doesn't like to hear about sex from his mother.