Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I got a verbal warning at work for "having a resting bitch face." I had a headache. FML
Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
untoldfame 3
a whistling dick huh? that could be quite the party trick.
WildClown 0
You're the dick. YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
Amorbis 0
YDI for being so thoughtful
JayFrankus 0
Not cool
NoneOfTheAbove 0
lol number 62 :P
inerdablanket 4
I say FYL. You could have handled it nicer, but if it were me, i probably would have reacted the same way.
ithedarkknight 0
if i was your general manager i would of took to my office make sure all the blinds and windows are closed and asked u how much u liked your job and depending on your answer i could make something else whistle wink wink!
illeyad 0
Sorry I agree with many of the other comments, your the idiot. You know you had a headache, you failed to take medication to treat yourself, and you acted poorly in a professional setting while expecting others to understand your in pain. I feel no simpathy, unless you had a full blow migraine (vomitting, fever, etc) than it would have been understandable, but a lousy headache? Nothing than Advil can't alleviate.
carrot89 0
"Excuse me, could you please stop? I have a headache. Thanks." would have worked...
nprugby11 0
couldn't have called out sick? or taken an advil? YDI
suks2bu 0
ahahahaha sounds like something i would do :S haha
Shotta 3
I'm not gonna be all "YDI you should've asked nicely" because I know how it feels to have a headache and someone gets on your nerves. Whistling is annoying anyway, headache or not. You could've been nicer, though. Hell, you could've just said, "Please SHUT UP!".