Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I got a verbal warning at work for "having a resting bitch face." I had a headache. FML
Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML
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Top comments
untoldfame 3
a whistling dick huh? that could be quite the party trick.
WildClown 0
You're the dick. YDI.
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Comments (140)
treli1593 0
YDI, be nice next time. "Can whoever is whistling please stop. I already had a headache." How hard is that?
bananaapplepie 0
god forbid you should take an advil
Essentials 0
That was not intelligent. Good job.
spillproof 0
Karma: You are mean to people, you get a splitting headache.
afrances 0
another lame FML..
Jaxon321 0
I would have called himm a banana sucker and pooped on his shirt!
master565 0
Retard
Crickets 0
LOL I hate whistlers too.. so bad even if i didnt have a headache.. the noise just pisses me off.. Sucks if i said that at my job tho. it's usually the customers that are whistling >< shouldnt have called him a dick though lol
FMLwrestler 0
Dude... if this was in front of customers, you are an idiot and of course the general manager did that. If no customers were within eyeshot or earshot, then your general manager is a loser fat babyback bitch who needs to stfu and grow a pair of testicles. If he's going to be an annoying festering parasite, of course people are going to hate him. jesus christ =========== for good measure, I put both FYL and YDI. you could have handled it nicer, even though I understand being angry and not caring, you still should have thought.
gunner_zsd 0
Good job