Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I got a verbal warning at work for "having a resting bitch face." I had a headache. FML
Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML
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Top comments
untoldfame 3
a whistling dick huh? that could be quite the party trick.
WildClown 0
You're the dick. YDI.
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Comments (140)
beautyisahorse 0
Why do people like you think you're the only one in the world who matters? You should have been fired. Consider yourself lucky.
alijacket 0
OK, you used inappropriate language, but your GM does sound like a dick. Probation because of that? Come on.
blue_virtue 0
Well, manners will get you far in the business world, and it will get you far more FYLs than YDIs.
kecherry 0
Lol YDI. Ask nicely next time...
ceisfu 0
I'm kind of disappointed you weren't fired
AloysiusWeasley 15
I don't blame you - in some cultures, whistling is considered extremely rude. It's annoying besides, I hope you didn't get fired.
karennskie 0
That is Hell-a-rious!
QueenOfMelodrama 0
That's stupid. I mean, you deserve it a bit. You should have just said "Can whoever is whistling please stop? I have a really bad headache, and it's definitely not helping." I don't get why people feel a need to throw around insults. It's not like whoever was whistling was doing it specifically to piss you off. But also, to be put on probation for that? That's kind of ridiculous. Did you not apologize for your rudeness? Because THEN maybe I could understand it...
DynamicDave 11
I agree, you didn't have to be a jerk about it. @122: I think OP means he was still in a probationary period at work. Most places will have a period like that (usually 90 days) in which they evaluate your performance and then decide whether to keep you on.
thatonegirl14 0
i agree with