Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"
TheCookieCrumb 0
Just in time for the big finale!
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Comments (121)
cricket14 0
im so sorryyy. that happens to me all the time. i know exactly how you feel. and i try to change rooms, but they wont let me.
sdfrew 0
Like I have sex with guys all the time. My kids. Are 16 and 12, they complain all the time but they shouldn't care cause my 16 year old has girls over every night My 12 year old isn't a virgin anymore so yeah... She has had sex a million times So stop complaining and go duck some1 too
onizzle67 0
wow. that says a lot about what kind of mother you are.
badgerpower1 0
what the hell #78.... you just let your 16 year old bring girls every night?
UncleverName_FYL 0
#78 wow i dont even know where to begin, i’m speechless ... this just proves how ridiculous the people of today’s society truly are.
kjraynor 0
#78 u have a real problem if u let ur 12 year old lose their virginity im a few years older then her and im still a virgin. (bad parenting)
ihatestupidppl 0
lol people, I'm pretty sure this is *not* a real comment, just someone trying to be amusing...
ashykins08 0
wow, youre an awful parent. your kids are going to have some serious problems, not to mention diseases and/or children by the time theyre 20.
RavishMe77 0
#78 is probably just a douchebag trying to rile people up. I doubt any parent in their right mind would be so blase about their 16-year-old whoring himself out to a different girl every night and their 12-year-old losing their virginity.
plexico 4
Hi, #78, You sound pretty cool, but when I turned 10, my dad hired ****** to come into my room every night and have sex with me. When I turned 14, he upped it to two at a time, so I had threesomes every night. Since I didn't waste a lot of time in high school fooling around with amateur girls, I was able to finish high school a year early, so I took a year off before college. I had a ten-woman harem that year and my full-time occupation was tending to them (or having them tend to me.) Yeah, you're OK, but my dad totally rocked!
ladiidaa 0
@ You and 114: STDs. They exist.
XOfiestypixie 0
#121, plexico (#114) is kidding and making his reply to #78 even more ridiculous than #78's comment. Go read some of his other comments on the other FML's ;)
5232jada 4
THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU????
FML_FYL_YDI 0
@ 78, seeing as how you let your 12 year old lose her virginity, you shouldn't be giving teenagers advice.
frankenberrie 0
did your mom swallow?
qazqwer313 0
#28 That would be oh so nasty especially if she lied and said the shiny stuff was vasaline!!!!!! XD
grimmelok 0
You know I'm starting to think everyone that says, "UR PARENTS HAVE SEX, DEAL WITH IT, AT LEAST THEY DON'T HATE EACH OTHER" are parents that have loud sex themselves. NO ONE wants to hear their parents have sex.
Chr0nicdreamz 0
that six
AdamGD 0
They waited for you to finish listening to your music
silentmusic 0
FYL!!!! and i love classic rock and new rock but i hate guns and roses!
ilive4fml 0
the grand finale...... lol!