Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"
TheCookieCrumb 0
Just in time for the big finale!
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Comments (121)
Ballafo 0
Ok well paramore sucks compared to blink182 but it's not a matter of genre but of skill and mentality.
Rozzybox 0
I love blink-182 but all they play are power chords. They're pleasant to listen to, however it doesn't really take talent to PLAY power chords... They can put a bunch of them together and make it sound good, and that's about it.
ithoughtuwasdead 0
well at least you know they can last long :) just hope it runs in the family.
murdermygymsox 0
#8 you made my day! hahaha. agreed!
sparxva 12
So your parents have sex; big whoop-de-do. Whiner.
Trilla_fml 0
Loser
maximumoverdrive 0
my parents do it a lot too, I can't hear em though. the otherday I was lookin through my dads top drawer. I thought I would find condoms, instead I found led zeppelin and byrds CDs.
j3nn1987 0
That's really not an FML. Good timing, though :)
ninjamonkey 0
I read something like this already, like 2 months ago.
_kim_chi_ 0
i heard and saw my parents have sex (they didnt see me becuz it was too dark and they were pretty engrossed, i think). on christmas. when i was only 9. i know how it feels to be scarred for life. and that's why i bought my first iPod myself.
mrose57 0
Why are there so many FMLs about parents having sex? How the hell do you people think you got here?