Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aback 5
Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"
TheCookieCrumb 0
Just in time for the big finale!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
ceddyz17 10
that made my day. sorry you had to go through that though
Liddo_Me_12 0
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! :(
gms16 2
Scared. For. Life.
sadcutie345 8
Lol atleast im not alone and they do it everynite now that they are gettin married in march yay fun this is why i bring my gf home and try to drown out the noise ;)
cheer4everever 0
Holy crap. How old r u???
beastroish 0
Ewww!!...now that's just disgusting and unfortunate for you.
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you clap?
HuskiesGrey 13
Lol
Therid 22
I am so sorry for you. Same thing happened to me, it was just every night for two years, between my dad and step mom. It was five years ago, and I am still scarred
randybryant799 21
You write this as though it's the first time youve heard them. If your room is next to theirs I should think you hear them all the time.