Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML
Today, while finishing shopping with my kids, my female best friend and I were accosted by a street preacher. He screamed that we were an abomination, having biracial children was a sin against nature, and that we were ruining America. Not only we are not gay, he made my kids cry. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Sometimes living in the city means you have to drown out all the noise pollution. And that comes out of people's mouths sometimes...
girlbye23 15
People like that make good Christians look bad
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Comments (135)
Dcm210 19
I would've drove a little a hit and braked suddenly
jimmywithsalt 19
On a bus recently, I encountered a rant I hadn't heard before -- a man actually believing he was god and yelling that we dirty idiot sinners had to turn to him for the answers because he knows it all. The bus ride was over an hour. I feel ya, OP.
mangobbler 11
Call me crazy or excessive, but these extremists just need to be isolated from society...
thatonename 7
You're crazy and excessive. The first amendment unfortunately protects him and makes your plan very unconstitutional.
Ziggy122 15
The fact that people STILL think homosexuality is a choice makes me weep for humanity. 'Scuse me, when did you choose to be straight? It just kinda happened, right? What makes me weep even harder for humanity is the fact that people still think it's okay to use religion as an excuse to be an asshole to people over things they have no control over.
monnanon 14
if they didnt use religion they would use something else. i dont think sexuality is a fixed entity i think everyone is on a scale ranging from will never touch the opposite sex to will never touch the same sex. everyone sits on this line in some respect. as far as i can see it there is no straight or bi or gay just people hooking up with other people. the only reason religions fight for tradtional relationships is so they have more impressionable little children to fees into the machine.
ThatHorse 15
#83, you hit the nail on the head. Every "sin" like homosexuality was created by the religious leaders to give them more power and control over the rest of the populace.
KawaiiCupcake 14
Sin exists... People sin every day...
zeuslovesyaoi 17
im here to say that from personal experience.its pretty damn good soup
metalhead4740 14
As a metro passenger myself, I feel your pain...
Dinonick 15
I would have been a smartass and pretended everything he said was a joke just to piss him off
jaco73 7
What a bloody idiot, is all I can say.....
castleofg1ass 19
You should have said "at least young males consent to having sex with me" How dare he say that, he's a horrible person
KawaiiCupcake 14
Your not making look yourself smarter by using a stereotype...
BriCx 8
Sounds like one of those Westboro Baptist Church assholes...hell I know someone who is against gay marriage who thinks people in this church need to play in traffic.