Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML
Today, while finishing shopping with my kids, my female best friend and I were accosted by a street preacher. He screamed that we were an abomination, having biracial children was a sin against nature, and that we were ruining America. Not only we are not gay, he made my kids cry. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Sometimes living in the city means you have to drown out all the noise pollution. And that comes out of people's mouths sometimes...
girlbye23 15
People like that make good Christians look bad
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Comments (135)
Warmonger_Smurf 29
He obviously is speaking the truth. After all the train stopped so you could hear it all.
DocBastard 40
I would trade my soul for a bowl of mulligatawny any day. My soul is kind of rancid anyway.
Nyx_fml 23
Saying that last thing will just get you rancid soup too.
obviousboy 8
Just ask him why slavery is condoned in the bible and rape isn't one of the Ten Commandments.
RedPillSucks 33
Well, slavery isn't condoned so much as it was just seen as a way of life. Keep in mind that the biblical slavery was not the multi-generational slavery as seen in the last few centuries. Also, rape is probably covered by "not committing adultery" and "not covet your neighbors wife". (Ok, so it's not specific enough to inhibit rape of the unmarried)
TheDrifter 24
The second part is easy. The prohibition on sex outside marriage was already covered, as was the proper treatment of a wife, there was no need to restate the prohibition on improper sexual relations. As for slavery, that's a much longer explanation and I'm not in the mood to write an fml mini novel.
perdix 31
#14, and why are some insects kosher, but bacon is not? And why is the moon called a light when it is merely a reflector for the sun?
DoomedGemini 38
That isn't speaking against rape. That's 1. Forcing a rape victim to marry her rapidly if he chooses to and 2. Treating the woman like damaged property.
AshaaFerreira 22
It's disgusting that people still think homosexuality is a choice. **** I hate preachers. Sorry but love it love and I rather hear about two females or two males loving each other then ever hear about the hate and negativity that's going on in this world. You should have told that preacher to go help the homeless instead of standing there bitching then maybe I might respect him
KawaiiCupcake 14
You can't hate all preachers! You don't know all preachers! Ya know they preach about positive stuff in this world...!!
Obey_StudBoii 23
Homosexuality is not a choice
perdix 31
What's all this jibber-jabber? Washington has a legitimate panic-inducing crisis on it's hands and we're quibbling about street preaches? The Redskins are 0-2 with RGIII, and were destroyed in both first halves. DC should be in an uproar over this!!!!
etishuman22 32
I really don't like street preachers. They loudly protested outside where the Mardi Gras floats were parked when I walked in the STL Mardi Gras parade this year. Then, the same damn street preacher protested STL Gay PrideFest. Damn preacher is always down on good times.
DorklyComicFan 8
Is homosexuality wrong/sinful?
Shadowbay 18
And that's when you put your headphones in and just stare at him... Headphones are the best at drowning out the idiots
IceMan11 23
"Soup is not a meal"
perdix 31
#22, but Mendy's makes the best soup, Jerry, the BEST!
IceMan11 23
Haha. I'm glad someone picked it up.
jchantale 7
In the Bible soup was traded for a birthright not a soul... As someone who supposedly preaches about the bible, he should probably get his analogies right...
gracehi 33
I was thinking that too. Esau traded his birthright to his slightly younger twin brother, Jacob, for a bowl of soup. Esau didn't automatically go to Hell for that.