Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jf7609 0
FYL indeed. hopefully they weren't crazy or something
MermaidSongXOXO 6
More like your grandma is putting in a good word so you could all have an awesome orgy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jxexcxi 0
I agree with #1
epictrollathon 0
Does she not know you're a lesbian? You should probably "come out" before she actually sets up any dates. That could be awkward. :p
dugumit 0
you are truely an ungrateful twat.
rockin198 0
grandmas playing matchmaker now
KYTRwerepyre 0
Did you get with any of them??? or was she being a pimp and not getting you a boyfriend just another job and some more money???
KYTRwerepyre 0
cool im number 67 and 68 that's so totally awesome!!! i mean i cant believe id get such fantabulous numbers!!! (sarcasm)
Alex_man120 0
same here, but my grampa trying to hook me up with a girl in his doctor's office. -_-
yunni94 0
if your grandma was that desperate. she would've offered to have woman on woman sex with ****** with OP
LTMcleod 0
that's sadly your fault, only you can be responsible for your social interactivity.
ILikePopCorn 0
This is truley sad.