Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
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Top comments
jf7609 0
FYL indeed. hopefully they weren't crazy or something
MermaidSongXOXO 6
More like your grandma is putting in a good word so you could all have an awesome orgy.
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Comments (75)
yoghurt123 0
Fail. Your grandma sounds cool, be thankfull.
mmhmm138 0
Wow you must get laid less than the Jonas Brothers. Zing!
disgruntledyouth 0
family guy blows
ImaginaryFoe 1
Maybe your love life is "pathetic" because you put the darkest possible construction on everything in your quest for drama. Your grandmother meets a couple of cute guys she thinks are nice and gives you a hook-up and this is your reaction? Nice
gp25 0
why is this bad, you should take what ever you get, dont be a greedy american like you already are
shanny411 0
well r u ugly just kidding
tisiphone_fml 0
Knowing my grandparents, I bet they were at least ten years older or younger than you...
samantha_durano 6
hahaha, woww :)
mrzero 0
u knw ur life is f***d up. be great full to her. she was trying to help u.
EpicFMyLife 0
at least she didn't tell them about her history as a prostitute, in detail.