Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says, "What's a pronoun?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML
Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You mean to tell me the English language doesn't make you hot? :(
junjouromantica 0
Now I see why you like him.
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Comments (253)
KenMcGormick 0
"A noun that is professional"
xxmix 0
It should be FHL.
capital_seven 0
Wow, I hadn't known that a five-year-old could be capable of owning a "smooth voice"...wait, this is not a toddler, but a ******* idiotic teenager, isn't it? Damn.
HurriKaty 4
Who gives a crap?
jelly555 0
does this remind anyone else of Calvin and Hobbes and Hobbes' reply to the same question "its a noun that lost its amateur status"? this FML just totally made my day cuz of that :) dont worry about it, he might still like you you know...
pamster 0
better that you know now . . . once upon a time, I married one of those brainiacs . . . NOT a good move!
chococool223 0
haha i moderated this one! =D
24788 7
Most Americans aren't very smart when it comes to book smarts. American kids are also becoming dumber than most of the developed countries.
AmoraLynn 6
Dumber? Really? Now that I have been informed that "Most Americans aren't very smart when it comes to book smarts" I'd like to know if you're one of those people that believes all Oklahoman's are red necks or live in teepees. I was taught 'more dumb' not 'dumber', so to me you just sounded like the uneducated one.
H8fulwanker 1
Really??? More dumb? Who taught you that? It's dumber, you just actually proved the 'stereotypes' of that Oklahomans that you were trying to argue. I'd ask my money back from your teacher if I were you.
tawnibaby 0
actually it is more dumb...
bvolt3000 0
#27 you beat me to it and yes it made my day
cowinvasion 0
Find someone more worthy of your affections.