Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says, "What's a pronoun?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML
Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You mean to tell me the English language doesn't make you hot? :(
junjouromantica 0
Now I see why you like him.
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Comments (253)
rukusrazor 0
Dear Penthouse Forum...
anonymeux_fml 0
I laughed so hard when I read this, and I'm not entirely sure as to why. And even if this one's fake, the OP's got skill. Sure, s/he probably could have perfected it by changing a few of the verbs to different tenses.. but it was a great read.
trackrunner525 0
i'm sure this is some middle school chick hyping up the moment
kandace 0
how does this gay post make it on, and mine doesnt! LAME
turtlellama 0
Someone needs to learn that there's a time and place for writing professionally. FML, however, is not that place.
Occam 0
#71 - speak for yourself
Victoria2103 0
No offense, but the guy you like is not very bright. Pick someone smarter. :P
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha!! Keep on dreaming sweetheart!!
dudemitch 0
YDI simply for writing an FML like a romance novel. oh and calvin and hobbes got it right..."a noun that has lost its amateur status" crap 27 beat me to it
redhead10 0
you should find another boy to crush on. ;)