Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
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Top comments
youfailed18 0
Hahaha good luck with that relationship.
DncrHap 9
so... did you say hi? sure he's a fifty-year-old man, but, honestly, who has sex face-to-face anymore?
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Comments (89)
ilovedwh 7
20$ i bet you work at a comic book store.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Make it $20 and I'll take that bet. OP is an engineer and there aren't many of those working in a comic store and retail workers usually don't get hour long breaks.
LifesJusGreat 7
I bet you $20 that he is an engineer considering the title says "lonely engineer". ;)
randomlyfunny94 0
"excuse me can i talk to you for a minute cause the back of your head is ridiculous." own that ponytail, work that updo
Lisa89 3
YDI for judging the hottness of someone by their hair
Arschloch04 0
Dude Looks Like a Lady.
yeahreally 6
that sucks the only woman at your work turned out to be a dude.
TRich23 0
Hahahahahahahahaha that made my day
il_bastardo 0
You weren't even checking faces? Damn, you are desperate.
n0obpr0 4
epic fail lol
LAXgurlie28 0
you sure it wasn't a 40 year old virgin?
christa953 12
the back of his head is ridiculous