Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
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Top comments
youfailed18 0
Hahaha good luck with that relationship.
DncrHap 9
so... did you say hi? sure he's a fifty-year-old man, but, honestly, who has sex face-to-face anymore?
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Comments (89)
DncrHap 9
so... did you say hi? sure he's a fifty-year-old man, but, honestly, who has sex face-to-face anymore?
SaintE_fml 0
really
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Really really.
tallerguy87 0
well I can see why no one has sex face to face with you, JK :) but you left yourself open :)
DncrHap 9
awwwh. hurtfulllll.
tallerguy87 0
i was kidding, I don't mean it
TapialPaado 1
Did you get his number?
banana_buddy 6
DId you get laid?
TomasT 0
Anyone so desperate and needy so they check someone out for an hour shouldn't be picky about the gender!
banana_buddy 6
LOL 15 ikr? Like if OP found a guy attractive from behind, he's probably desperate enough to put a paper bag over the guys face and just hump it
Doortje 30
You wanted to hit on a girl based on her ponytail? God, you must be desperate..
Hellooomindyy 0
Somehow I saw that coming when you said you saw the ponytail from the back... Maybe you should see what people look like before sitting around for an hour working up the courage just to speak with them.
Trent_17 2
exactly
JustDoctor 0
hmmmm that's a bit homosexual.
ak7477 9
nah
ericnx 8
fcukyou
nachukas 0
haha, it's cute that it took you an hour to build up the courage to talk to... her/him/it
pamelax3 6
Yumm. A cougar ;)
Ismellwin 0
Or a...... Lion?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Cheetah.
3p1c_fml 1
Nah, definitely Puma.
mnms7 0
liger!
jrad1982 0
no no, woman are cougars and men are silverbacks
nerdsgetmehot 23
You deserve it for automatically wanting to hit on the first "female" you see.
RedPillSucks 33
Nerdolicious, that was the ONLY female he saw. He implied that there are not many women at his job. Could be because they get constantly hit upon.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#36 Yes, I am actually well aware of that. I was saying that he deserved it for wanting to throw himself at the girl seemingly only because a girl at his workplace was a rare occurrence. (And because "she" had pretty hair, but still.) Although I like this "Nerdolicious" nickname you've given me, whether or not it's supposed to be flattering. :P
mboehm88 3
Well nerdolicious would imply that you're a delicious nerd so I'm assuming it's a compliment! :D
Ninjafriends 1
Maybe you can still go for it and just do it from behind.