Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML
Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
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Top comments
keepmeonthedl 7
You should know how to give directions to your house.
Addyy_ 5
You should have told him to keep turning left and see how long it would take him to notice you had no idea what you were doing.
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Comments (215)
Fishinaddict22 1
Curious as to how you were planning on getting home if you didn't know how to get there? It's not like you were giving directions over the phone, you were in the car. Lol
usnwife 18
As others have pointed out, maybe they only knew the bus route? But still, if you're in the car with them just say "right" or "left" when you would normally have turned... Even of you follow the bus route and go out of your way, at least you get home! I can understand not knowing street names to give someone directions if you aren't with them, but this is just pathetic...
SkoomaKi 28
He's a friend. I'm sure he would've got you home even if it took a while. It's not that hard to give directions either. "Turn left, turn right, do a backflip". Not hard.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
I would love to have a car that can do backflips.
Il_Maestro 6
I agree with skoomaki, your friend probably would've helped you out And as a side note, I don't recommend backflipping your car. My friend tried that and the fire department wasn't too happy with her.
nofearjenshere 12
I agree, OP acted like he/ she was in the car wih a rapist or something.
kickuwithmyfist 1
Did you invite him in lol=D
perdix 31
Are you high? You, my friend, put the "stoned" in Estonia!
kickuwithmyfist 1
....what?
kickuwithmyfist 1
Are you high? Lol
Shadowvoid 33
Haha i see what you did there.
Il_Maestro 6
Perhaps the word you are looking for is not high but "lost."
Demonfish 14
15- are you honestly surprised? :/
lopsop 12
She's from Estonia that is why he said stoned
kickuwithmyfist 1
71-... Prrrreetty sure stone doesn't have an A or an I in it... Lol but ok.
tctheamazing 7
77- pretty sure the word 'pretty' doesn't have four R's nor two E's....Lol but okay. But for real, 71 was just explaining what 14 was trying to say.
kickuwithmyfist 1
84- ok you got me there...:( :):D
MarisaCB 16
Yeah, well, its a play on words. Har har.
tctheamazing 7
88-sorry but I had to do it:b but even with 71 explaining it out, the joke is still bad -__-
XtraEzeee 8
87 you just put the har in Harjumaa.
agm77 9
How do you not know how to get to your own house?
lifes_a_b1tch 7
And what? The streets don't work the same for cars?
emeraldisle 30
Neither of you have a GPS? I'm shocked!
Pandacupcakelove 26
Your social skills suck.
THE_A_TEEN 28
How many people are going to keep asking the same shit? OP said " I didn't really know how to give directions to my house", not "OCD don't know where I live". For ****'s sake, get some reading comprehention, people
THE_A_TEEN 28
****, how did I get "OCD"? It's "I", not OCD. Autocorrect sucks...
agm77 9
Then how would he get to his own house every day? Giving directions can be as simple as "I don't know the name of the street up ahead, but turn right."
THE_A_TEEN 28
Like somesone above me said, his social skills must suck.
Pandacupcakelove 26
That was me :D yaay! ^_^
hahauRrcool 0
HHa yeh
hanna1222 4
Comprehension* LOL
Doxy 22
OP's Friend : so...are you gonna invite me in for a tour or coffee? OP: Suuuure...just ...umh..nevermind.
KiddNYC1O 22
Good luck getting home in time for dinner.