Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML
Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
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Top comments
keepmeonthedl 7
You should know how to give directions to your house.
Addyy_ 5
You should have told him to keep turning left and see how long it would take him to notice you had no idea what you were doing.
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Comments (215)
Calyx_fml 22
How can you not know how to get to your own house when you're riding in the car?!
PawnShopPenguin 4
I think you should apply for assisted living.
groupleader 7
You shouldn't have accepted the ride, you could have just wandered around on your own. Did you ever make it home? Or did you just move into the house you pretended to live in.
meghanlbruno 4
How does someone not know how to get home?
OhLohd111 11
Imagine how much more awkward it would be if OP's friend knew the person who actually lived in that house.
spittinGMINT 3
That's why I have a tattoo of a map to my house on my back. N case im drunk, I know someone will get me home ;)
Devin91 20
Would've been awkward if your friend stayed outside waiting for you to go inside the random persons house.
zombiibabii 4
YDI. You don't even have to know the street names; just tell them when to turn left, right, stay straight, whatever. Hell, I'm horrible with street names but I've NEVER had an issue getting someone (or myself) to my house.
JayLite 0
FYL! I find this so funny!
DiceLover 7
That's funny, because my sense of orientation is just as bad, and I'd do the same thing.