Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML
Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
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Top comments
keepmeonthedl 7
You should know how to give directions to your house.
Addyy_ 5
You should have told him to keep turning left and see how long it would take him to notice you had no idea what you were doing.
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Comments (215)
Addyy_ 5
You should have told him to keep turning left and see how long it would take him to notice you had no idea what you were doing.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Ah, screw it. I live under that bridge. Drop me off there.
nado13579 12
How do you not know how to get to your own house?
DogsPaw 16
Lol I have no idea. I have done it so many times that I don't even pay attention I just walk... Been here for 7 years only know the street name I live on.
Inheritance 10
He takes a left! Omg he takes another left! I wonder which way he turns next!! Jesus Christ it's a left!!
thebiglloydtree 12
protip: try giving him the street name next time, see if he knows it. Or can get sat nav directions. Or use google maps.
elidine 0
Watch out for the prostie attack
DogsPaw 16
145... Nascar!
keepmeonthedl 7
You should know how to give directions to your house.
Bladian 5
Uh, no. Don't blame technology. People often memorize routes without knowing streets.
leannez 21
Or they could have just moved into the area. People are too quick to blame technology.
auriane_fml 19
@48, The fml said that the friend offered the OP a ride. This could mean that the OP always walks home or uses public transportation. I know exactly how to get to my home on foot and when I go with the bus, but don't ask me how to get there in a car. I have no idea what road to take and maybe OP had the same issues. I do think that the OP should have been honest and told the friend that he/she didn't know the directions. Just imagine how awkward it would be if the friend wanted to hang out and went to that house and figured out that the OP didn't live there.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Uhh so what if he likes his technology?? Why should you care? The FML says nothing about technology. You are too quick to assume.
scottieclark 4
66. In his stats it also says he reads books. And most people in their stats do not say that they play in the park. So you comment is an attack on the other person.
Angitia 8
86, he meant assume that the FML is related to technology's influence.
Addyy_ 5
STOP FIIIGHTIIIIING!!
BubbleGrunge 18
66 what do you know about the 90s? You were born in '91. Nintendo released its game system in the 80s. The first cell phone came out in 1930 (installed in a car). The first windows computer was introduced in 1981. Technology has always transpire from generation to generation, this is another step to how we as humans evolved decade to decade. Don't blame technology for a lazy, unmotivated society, blame those that are lazy and unmotivated. I was in kindergarten in 1990, playing NES system, which was before you were born, therefore don't start on how much better off kids were in the 90s.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
116- you are on FML right now, which means you are on the Internet, which also means you are either on your computer or your cell phone... Cough* hypocrite cough* cough*
alisidewinder 9
How do you not know how to give directions? When you come to a street turn either left, right or go straight. What way do you walk home follow the closest route. I used to take public transportation but I still knew how to give directions even without street names. How do you know where you're going if your don't know how to get there?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Damn, all this fighting needs to stop. How about we go outside, lay off FML for a while, take a deep breath, and then stop with the Fuckery.
K_kanaka 26
What the ****?! This is by far the most hostile arguments I have ever seen on FML.
Legendoflaw 4
128 your wrong...54...you have to go up...39....is the comedy channel where I live. This is why I don't read comments...too damn confusing.
SkoomaKi 28
140 - I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. Don't mind the people on here. They only attacked you on for a insignificant reason. Please everyone stop fighting, we have reached the end of the argument.
DocBastard 40
**** **** **** I missed the fight! Everyone's made up already? God DAMN it! *slaps everyone involved in the face* Come back and fight, you pansies!
ImaginaryFoe 1
I really don't understand how you can know how to walk home but can't give directions there whilst riding in a car. Do you only cut through gardens and side streets and parkour over rooftops? Unless you live in an area with many one way streets, you should be able to figure out how to get a car close to your house.
Cashtangoteam 10
Life is rough in Estonia
MsAnnaH 1
You sound like Sheldon ;)
imavelociraptor 6
I don't know how to get home until i am ON the street that my neighborhood is on. Then i can find my way home once i get inside. I simply dont pay attention to street signs. Thats why i am so nervous about getting my permit because i have no idea where i'm going. My town hardly has any sidewalks outside of separate subdivisions and no city buses unlike where i used to live so you have to drive EVERYWHERE!
eyecon502 13
Isn't there an app for that?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yes, but there's a crap for that too. (MAD FTW!)
itstheappleguy 1
Yes!
onlychildFTW 34
There's an app for everything!
skittihorse 8
Not everyone has an iPhone
boofgall 16
Google maps!
Truth_Nazi 0
Droids and other smartphones exist too...
mustangkid21 0
Hell yea i agree this story is bs
halliefines 0
nd they also have apps...
tweetbaby14 18
Not everyone has a smart phone would work better here being that not only iPhones have some kind of map or gps technology. I have a feeling someone is going to come along and say "Well, actually...."
FML_Master2133 6
"Well, actually..."
Pandacupcakelove 26
151- I somehow read doritos....
gracevet88 0
There's an app for everything
Dalboz 26
waze :Ｄ
eddeeezzyy 19
This is when you need Dora and her unbelievably amazing talking map
Krysk_fml 0
Yeah but when you get there it'll take Dora about 10 minutes to notice the house right in front of her.
eddeeezzyy 19
Yeah cuz she keeps on asking ******* questions and always does those long ass pauses. Sometimes I'm ashamed that she even calls herself an explorer... :/
LaughinStock 16
Dora: What was your favorite part? Me: well Dora my favorite part was.....Dora: that was my favorite part too. BITCH YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH! :D
siickman 7
Orr you say something like: Dora: what was your favorite part? Me: ... Dora: ME TOO!1!!1!1!! I laugh because no one will be as awkward as dora.
flamegrilled123 3
The awkward moment when Dora gets arrested by border police
horsestarz 7
Don't forget about the amazing singing backpack!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dora: What was your favorite part? Me: The part when you gave Boots a ********. Dora: I liked that, too. Me: D:
nofearjenshere 12
Dora: You have to call map. Say map! Me: Map! Dora: Say it again! Me: MAP! Dora: One more time! Me: ******* MAP!!!
Devin91 20
What if Dora didn't have her map with her in her book bag?! Then you'd all be stuck with her and her ridiculous talking bag.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Where the hell are Dora's parents? Do they know she's being stalked by a fox? Maybe she's just mentally retarded, and she's just imagining all of this in her backyard.
CaramelMacchiato 13
I seriously wish I had parents like Dora. I could go anywhere and not get questioned for it.
Addyy_ 5
Dora: What was your favourite part? Teenager: When you and Boots did it behind that bush. Dora: Mine too!! Teenager: dafuq!?
mufc4everch 2
This thread is hilarious
YoTengoTomatoes 7
91- hey hey hey, that's backyardigans :D
nofearjenshere 12
I miss backyardigans! That shit was my show!
LaughinStock 16
Nah 171. Dexter, Hey Arnold, Samurai Jack, Code Name: Kids Next Door, Courage the Cowardly Dog. OH who can forget Ed, Edd, and Eddy! Those shows were the shit.
devinevine 0
LOL!!!
melodywarner17 0
The awkward moment when 10 adults have detailed a conversation about what pisses them off while watching Dora the Explorer...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Power Puff Girls, Cow and Chicken, Alvin and The Chipmunks... God I miss the original chipmunks. They butchered them with the CGI shit.
nado13579 12
When I was younger I thought Dora spoke French instead of Spanish. Took me a long time to realise why my grades sucked. :P Teacher: What's water in French? Me: Agua! Teacher: It's eau. Me: BITCH THAT'S NOT WHAT DORA SAID.
monkeysuncle213 6
Sounds like life is always an adventure for you. Never know where you'll end up!!
mgkgambino 3
No doesn't know where he's supposed to end up..
ant1078 7
It'd be awkward if they waited for you until you got into the house
hangman161 2
Lmaoooooooo
Crystal55621 19
It also would've been awkward if it actually was his friend's house.
mtrrace 4
My parents do that..
tylersign 11
I can see it now: OP walks up to the house, rings the doorbell.. *Awkward waiting time, smiles at friend in car* Creepy enough guy opens the door, followed by a slight smirk. Do you go in?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hell yeah! He might have Ice Cream and Candy!
Il_Maestro 6
I can see it now: *Friend in car* Why the hell is OP ringing his own doorbell? And why do I have the sudden feeling that I'm watching **** of some sort?
iCake 13
Op: *creeperface.png* wierd guy at the door: Oh God no, not again
EG14_fml 8
Thats when you pretend its someone robbing your house and run
Quidikic 9
As long as a bottle of lube is not visible from the door. Yes, yes I would.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
FML needs to allow gifs. Fo' reals.
doucheydouche12 3
Must be a young kid to not know how to get home. if your an adult shame on you
MarisaCB 16
If you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're", shame on you.
doucheydouche12 3
Wow you corrected me. Don't you feel special. Shame on you for thinking I actually care.
lore420 2
With the kid of technology we have and you still get lost ? Moron!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Who's the kid of technology? Da Vinci? Edison? Tarzan's Ass? TELL ME! I'm dying of suspense here.
aine1111 0
Dumbass.
MedKits 9
That's my line.
ashleykay94 7
Asshole
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hole of an ass.