Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
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Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
can you not call your friend who brought you to the party and have them bring you home?
aidenmccarthy03 8
Use google maps on your phone. Or just call your friend
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Comments (62)
smoothies14 32
I'm sorry, were you expecting five-star service?
FMLSpongebob 6
I passed out at Goofy Goober's once. Got kicked out the next morning by a worker.
Baron_Kaz 15
Next time don't drink so much that you black out. YDI
gobiteme2 34
Party too hardy. Next time stay clean
pats2004 17
And you went straight to fml
emi_alejandra 23
You should've called someone
Shafro_0 24
Follow Up!!!
FML_ThatIsInsane 5
I have been there before, what's worse on my end though, is that I threw up on their front porch, but they asked for it, they couldn't even give me a bucket and the bathroom was too far away, would've had to run up the stairs to get to it. I was so drunk that I wouldn't of been able to get up the stairs. FML
MeltedMango 8
I feel like drinking responsibly might be a good idea. Or not getting high out of your mind. Either works.
USSRNAME 11
You know, just a casual day...