Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I smell an opportunity to light a new friendship with this guy, OP! I bet he'll take your breath away :)
alainopotato 20
Don't worry everyone feels this way sometimes. For me, the only constant is a really enthusiastic sign spinner that I pass on my drive home. Chin up! It will get better :)
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Comments (26)
hipposteve 21
Quality over quantity. One strong friendship is better than several shitty ones.
mneill 6
The smoking section, or as we have generally referred to it at previous workplaces, the outside corner conference room, is an amazing place. That's where all the friendships build, and in the end, all the real problems get solved. Sure he's a smoker, and you're not, but you can still talk to him...
jbivens1992 17
If you also smoke, how about going down and chit chatting with him? Could be a chance for a new friendship. :)
mcgshawn 15
sounds like you've got a somewhat interesting life at least
convive 23
Be quick though, he might quit smoking before you know it
NecrophiliaHD 4
You could be the only constant person in his life too. Why not make a new friend?
fwittyusernames 0
Stop whining about picking crappy friends. You choose who you accept in your life.
interstellar2017 6
same
gingerlover01 24
befriend him
casey1204 2
This is actually my life