Anonymous
United States
Lonely
Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
liynda
Canada
Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML
Brendon
Spooky season ain't over
Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML
Username
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
lonesome
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
wtfisgoingon
London, United Kingdom
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
Fire_Crotch
Canada
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
youlovewaffles
Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML
Jdogg
Home alone
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
HomeAlone
United States
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Diane
Toronto, Canada
Classic
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Top comments
LawSixx 11
What a way to waste water as well.
kareltje 17
WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...
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Comments (152)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow your water bill will be through the roof and for a totally pathetic reason. YDI
AllyyK 9
I think OP is probably the creeper who took his date to meet his parents on the 2nd date and told her that he loves her, and she wrote an FML about it. It all makes sense! He's a creep and that's why he lives alone lol. So now he has to pretend he's not alone because she stopped answering his calls. Haha it all fits!
2amkid 0
thats so sad
sjhill 32
Such a waste of water! Go out and find someone!
Tdevonner 0
I never understood how it was possible to wastr water...i mean from back in the day didnt adam n eve drink the water, piss it out, n then half got filtered thru the ground n the other half thru evaporation n now we're still drinking their piss? Where is the water disappearing to?
bizarre_ftw 22
The environment thanks you
sophia_melo 11
Can't you find a more ecological way to pretend that?
BreeLikesTea 0
have fun with that water bill
megotswag 0
Aww go buy some cats to keep you company for a while.
Fylminesawsome 5
How freaked out would you have been if the shower suddenly stopped, or some guy came out of the bathroom just wearing a towel??