Lonely
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
Today, I dyed my hair red. Everyone I've met who knows my real hair color has accused me of being an attention seeker, or thinks I lost a bet. I just thought I would look more attractive if my hair was red. Is that a crime? FML
Today, I began worrying I have social anxiety, all because while getting dressed I convinced myself that everyone would talk about me behind my back if I wore a striped shirt. FML
Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
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Top comments
HiIAmKevin 8
That's when you know you really have to hit up some bars...
Maybelline008 10
Well, did they?
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Comments (179)
immaMonsta 8
Sounds like somebody needs some friends...
bowser_rawr16 13
It's funny because whenever my mom and I make a trip to Target, 9times out of 10, she is wearing a red shirt/sweater, and people always think she's a worker there.
babyjm 0
That is one of the saddest things ive heard ahaha
Calyx_fml 22
OP, get a dog. You'll meet lots of people when you walk him.
DocBastard 40
But but that's USEFUL advice! We're not supposed to be supportive here! Are we?
Calyx_fml 22
86 - YDI for getting an aggressive dog breed. Next time get a labradoodle.
br0ccoli 15
It's times like this that make me realize how intimacy-starved people are. OP, I hope someone talked to you.
emmaweeee 0
Well you sound like a social butterfly.
qwaszxwesdxc 0
OI go to fast food restauraunts with a suit, get free food
Hon3y_schnucums 1
We're you wearing khakis too cuz that's the uniform
immaMonsta 8
I'm sorry, what? Your comment makes NO sense. Unless you meant wear of course. Good grief, learn the difference between were and we're, then learn the difference between the two of those and wear.
KiddNYC1O 22
I see errors in your comment as well. ^
perdix 31
If wearing a red shirt doesn't get you noticed at Target, try wearing a Target bullseye to an archery range. You'll get hit on ;)
jmcgirl 3
That's totally hilarious dude. You're a funny gu.