Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
Use one of her shirts to clean it up then she might learn to do it herself next time.
Pleonasm 36
Scoop all the vomit into a bucket and pour it back onto her face while she's sleeping. Maybe she'll learn the lesson. Or she will wake up and won't remember a thing. Win/Win
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Comments (66)
Tannasgh 22
Next time, I might suggest making a nice doggy bag to leave on her pillow...
Vegetarian27 24
Rub her nose in it. Apparently it works for cats, so why not disgusting roommates?
LPisLame 16
You need to give that bitch a ride to an AA meeting.
eerrun 8
u better check her.
purple_lurple123 12
When she wakes up, shove into the bathroom with cleaning supplies and leave. Or you know... You could always just drags her out of her bed and tell her clean it up. FYL. Especially if you have really strong gagging reflexes too!
xSphinx 18
move out or woman up and kick her alcoholic ass the **** out.
xSphinx 18
Yes, lets create more problems on top of her being an alcoholic prone to making bad decisions while drinking, good job #1, you're a dumbass.
xSphinx 18
I bet none of you cocksuckers on here would have the balls to actually do the shit you're suggesting OP do to her roommate. Grow the **** up, real adults talk to each other.
sammiehammie 6
Agreed!
sammiehammie 6
Wow, many are saying drag her out of bed, rub her nose in it, throw it in her face blah blah blah. Fyl, but damn. She's a person too and no person has the right to put hands on anyone in that way. She may ignorant and ill mannered, but that still is no excuse. Conversation, work shit out and put your damn foot down, especially since it's the second time and she is your NEW roommate.
emmsies 16
time for a new roommate?