Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I volunteered to sit in stocks at a fair. Lots of kids pulled off my shoes and socks and tickled my feet for several minutes. I was laughing so hard there were tears. FML
Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
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Top comments
anonymousjason 0
You're a woman and you have balls. Your L is F'd.
joecoyote 0
well at least he knows you weren't real lol thats a smart "slow" kid =P
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Comments (150)
teamsquirrel 0
that's what you get for not being a real kangaroo...
wreckedurday 0
HAHA u were completely owned by a special needs kid classic!!!
Glam_fml 0
Haha, wow. I would have said, "Yes I am!" and kangaroo punched his lights out.
neonoodle 0
that kid's a philosopher. He put your reality into question and then answered the question by making you feel pain - the only real sense that we can feel in this god forsaken world. Pretty deep stuff. oh, I should also add LOL, you got kicked in da ballz! dats teh funnay!
null_fml 11
Regarding the kid: What #31 said. Regarding the mascot: Get used to it. Maybe you don't need to wear a cup, but at least practice closing your legs and ducking quickly. (It'll only work on kids but that's all you need)
mercedeslove 0
tell it that he/she is retarded and kick it back.
NoMercy_fml 0
I would have said in retaliation: "And neither is Santa!"
TheCon11110 0
ahhhh that ******* sucks XD but funny
walkemskies 0
that's actually pretty funny haha ditto #5
_babyxdoll 0
well at least now you & the kid know tha your balls are real :)