Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I volunteered to sit in stocks at a fair. Lots of kids pulled off my shoes and socks and tickled my feet for several minutes. I was laughing so hard there were tears. FML
Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
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Top comments
anonymousjason 0
You're a woman and you have balls. Your L is F'd.
joecoyote 0
well at least he knows you weren't real lol thats a smart "slow" kid =P
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Comments (150)
triplethreat13 0
same thing happened to me, except i was at an elementary school in an alligator suit and the kid punched me in the stomach..
GreatChild 0
A woman with balls? Wow, if it was me i would have ran! Those special-ed kids are keener than we make them out to be :]
Kman09 0
again same thing except i was in a bread suit and they chased me with knives.
miskui 0
I think anyone would be mad if their parents put them in a class where a ******* mascot walked in and tried to pass his/her self off as an animal buddy. No offense.
lolwut2 0
your thingy says that you're a woman, though... you have lady balls? ._.
MoooMooMooMooMoo 0
But.... you is a lady? I lady with balls? D=!
scott_m319 0
The only possible way this story could be true is if the OP was originally a man but underwent a sex change after the incident. That's it. If that's not the case, then this story is undeniably fake, and I'm surprised no one has caught that by now. If you were a man, then FYL for sure. But if you've always been a woman and you're just posting this for shock value, you failed miserably, because your gender is listed in your post for all to see. It wouldn't even deserve a "nice try".
CATE_19 0
It could've been worse man . / woman. why does it say you're a woman but you said you got kicked in the nuts ? ;/
saranottelling 7
Are you Lady Gaga?
2gether4ever 0
your a girl AND you have balls? woaah. might wanna go get that checked.