Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
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Top comments
Diabeetus 0
So were you sexing him a lot?
uminuscooll 0
omg! that's awful.
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Comments (53)
Disco_fml 0
unless they were "sexting"
kekelala3 0
It's only an FML if you didn't have sex. What are you anyway 15?
peaceSUCKAh 0
that's so dumb of your mom how would a four year old even know what sexting is
corbincorbin 0
no it blows
corbincorbin 0
haha ya that's what my dad says. it's his car but I'm just borrowing it
corbincorbin 0
she banned her from seeing her bf. read carefully. sometimes you need to
matt5217 4
no it exhales
corbincorbin 0
that is true
varkey 7
the fact that you weren't able to convince your mother otherwise means that you probably were having sex with your boyfriend anyway, even though your brother didn't mean that, so YDI
harlan71 0
Well im 16 and my mom knows i have sex hell she even offered to buy me condoms so its not a big deal a 16yo having sex and also maybe they were sexting?
LostKezia 5
me too, like my mum doesnt care as long as im safe