Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
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Top comments
Diabeetus 0
So were you sexing him a lot?
uminuscooll 0
omg! that's awful.
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Comments (53)
uminuscooll 0
omg! that's awful.
Diabeetus 0
So were you sexing him a lot?
max_wilder 9
That would seem to be the case
Rhodesy1 0
bad times indeed
suckerz 0
damn that sucks... taking away the car??? evil
zenox59 0
njkjjjn
holynemesis1208 3
i hope your were at least having fun in these texts.
sfgiants2010 0
nice!
KatieWagnerFab 0
What a little brat.
swgmimi12 3
How is he a brat it says he's four years old.
Bauer_fml 0
Texting, is that what the kids call it these days?
ilawlzatyou 0
Unless you're 9, your mom's overreacting.
JustCallMeCloud 0
#16 So if she was 10 it would be okay to have sex? Some parents are really conservative compared to others. I wouldn't expect my kid to have sex until 16 and then I would still be shocked. A lot of the shock might the mom thought little kid saw/heard her "sexing".