Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was our anniversary just 3 nights ago, and she said she was sorry for leading me on. She still hasn’t told me why. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me, and that she's not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that, and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
napero 0
Women...
perstephane 4
Amen - go get one who isn't crazy. Or, at least one who's less crazy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
SilentBlaSkiRain 0
look at the bright side-- she comes to you when youre drunk!
Ducati45 0
You let her drive away from your house drunk?? ooh YDI
aroymart 0
wow, when she said she was breaking up with you i would've said "fine, i don't want to date a complete idiot"
FarSide 23
meaning.... you want to date an incomplete idiot??
aback 5
You don't want to keep dating someone who's having blackouts, do you?
sentient 10
in addition to "you deserved it" and "yeah, you're life is ******," we need a third option: "I dont know what you're complaining about," or better yet, a fourth option, "quit bitchin, you're better off this way."
kile88 2
foul I hate lipstick
whyohwhyohwhy 0
the only thing that really stands out as f*d up here is the "and then she left" part....if she was blackout enough to not remember that she came over to your house how did she get around? I hope she lives close enough to you that she didn't drive! If she did drive...then YDI for letting your girlfriend, crazy as she may be, leave your house if you knew she was trashed.
956TXking 0
let the bitch go if she keeps bitchin grab her by he hair and swing her around a couple time that will show her
FarSide 23
and Plan B is get her drunk, and then sucker punch her pubic bone with a clinched fist.
cheapsheep_fml 0
alcoholics these days.
Mauskau 36
why didn't you wash your neck?