Zibby
🌶️ Spicy
Life hacks
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Toothy
United States
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
sexyfail
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice outing
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
unendowed
Katy, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Time consumed
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Surprisebuttsecks?
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
yummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Terminology
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
Drewzter
United States 🌶️ Spicy
User manual
Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML
PerfectBoyfriend
Reet, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Anonymous
Spokane, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hummmmm
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
ouchhhh
🌶️ Spicy
Saucy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. Five seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML
Top comments
robc32ca 4
washing is a better option
Jimboom 12
Ha ha. I bet you think the idea of spicing up your sex life constitutes putting curry power on your penis.
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Comments (271)
Torji 2
Toothpaste? Why not literally anything else, like something edible or tasty
zebra46 10
That's what flavor condoms are for
Derrrrrrp32 6
Idiot, why not just put Bengay on it next time?
gatorade3 0
Um, ow?
NewFire911 5
I found that out when I was very young. I was at someone else's house at the time.
TheImaginarySong 16
Three words: what the hell
schnips 10
It's the thought that counts.
XxRandomMonkeyxX 6
Why the **** would you put toothpaste ON your penis
bacon_lover03 12
What were you trying to do? Improve your girlfriend's morning breath?! XD
SmallTownUSA 11
Even swallowing a little toothpaste while brushing your teeth tastes nasty, so what makes you think your girl's gonna wanna slob on your knob with it tasting like Colgate? Plus didn't that burn? Instead try flavored lube. Rockin Blue Raspberry is my personal favorite, but whatever works for you.