Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ran into my former therapist. Still confused by her last email, I asked what she needed to "protect herself" from. She said she needed to protect herself from feeling sad and worrying that I'd get beaten up. I'm afraid I now understand why this country is so messed up. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, I found out that my dad has a therapist. That's cool. What's cooler is that she's a very nice lady, and even said to ME that I could talk too if I wanted to. Boy, do I want to. But if I did, then she would probably need a therapist herself, and the last thing my dad needs is his therapist needing a therapist. FML
Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML
Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML
Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML
Today, I had my first appointment with my new therapist. After I told her my family history and past abusive situations, she looked at me and asked, "How are you still sane?" FML
Today, my therapist started laughing at me whilst I was telling my story. He said, "Sorry, I can't help it" and burst out laughing. FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, I came to the unpleasant realization that my friends only keep me around because I’m nice, know when to keep my mouth shut, and am willing to listen to them vent. In short, I’m the therapist friend. FML
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Top comments
SnigglePoop 3
Put a menacing face on and mabye you'll get a discount ;)
perdix 31
They're nice to you because you pay them. Follow the money. If she thought you were really dangerous, she'd send you to a psychiatric hospital. She knows you are just a pussy full of rage and impotence. She's not afraid you'll pull out a knife, but that you'll put away your checkbook.
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Comments (129)
zellybo15 0
now where would she ever get an idea like that from?
HunterAlpha1 8
maybe you should stop wearing the black ski mask to your appointments.
mongooses 2
You shoulda gotten up, yelled something like "WHY YOU LITTLE (insert word of choice)" acted really angry, brought your arm back to punch them, and then sat back down laughing.
IPoopedOnU 12
AWESOME! U sound like me! :) not kidding
tequilabutterfly 0
Lol I like you.
schealey 0
You should stab her for it. Totally kidding lol
JessieBrianneKim 3
That would make me kind of angry, angry enough to chop their head off!
uwetsiageya 7
well u know what they say about ASSUMING...so to keep everything away from assumption...u should get pissed off at that idea and stab her lol!!!
itsklaudia 3
dude damn.. ppl dont like to piss me off sometimes cuz they think i will stab them.. ppl just dont get it sometimess
AnniKatrynia 3
id start laughing my ass off if my therapist said that to me..