Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
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Top comments
fakedsincerity 32
Some people just have incompatible sex drives. He's wrong to call you names for expressing what you need to be happy. I hope you guys can talk it out and compromise so you're both happy and can have your needs met.
magikarpsmurfs 19
I think it's time to discuss with your husband that people not just yourself have needs. Those needs are normal & should be taken care of by those committed to you. AKA your husband.
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Comments (144)
ppsycomom 7
Next time he wants sex... tell him to f**k himself
myoukei 31
Maybe he's asexual?
mazor 22
He's asexual or gay. Either way you're screwed.
be82tw 17
Not so much, or we wouldn't have this FML.
incoherentrmblr 22
Maybe he has erectile dysfunction and/or has a heart condition where he's not allowed to take Viagra or a similar drug. There could be many reasons...
ally8 21
Yep such a nymph ;)
quickfingers100 15
**** him!
albertozeta_fml 9
Don't worry, in your couple it's not you the one with sexual problems.
david99021 15
the Amish way of life is a hard one. I'm sorry for your struggle with sin. :)
MlleMC_fml 19
Actually, I'm pretty sure the Amish do it fairly often. What else is there to do at night without electricity? And the number of children they have sort of shows it too. ;)
PatMcGroin12345 11
I miss when the comments were funny. . . . .
xx000o 27
Possibly the husband may have undergone some physical changes that reduced his sexual desires, such as diabetes.