Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
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Top comments
EBA2013_fml 12
Why was she so close to your car in the first place?
darshini_ii 24
Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.
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Comments (52)
9onbreak78 11
If you drive an Suv/mini van where the trunk door opens out, then I can understand her getting knocked to the ground. Otherwise, if you have a car, where the trunk lid pops up towards the back window, then it's almost like she was on top of your trunk....
murph_fml 21
Get up offa my car, lady
gabimk23 13
how short is she
amccaul1976 8
you should have got out whatever small amount of cash you had in your wallet dropped it on her and said "sounds fair here you go" then just drove off
kalbrek009 20
What the heck was she doing with her chin over the trunk of your car? Tell her you know she staged it all & you'll turn her in.
221bcompanion 15
How does someone stand THAT close to a car unless she was doing it intentionally? That's whack.
sousaphonist 14
...what could she have possibly been doing that she was so close to your car?
saffy66 34
What is it with people whose first thought when something relatively minor happens is to sue someone and take them for everything? As everyone's saying, she must have been leaning over your car; what business did she have doing that?
pl0xs3rver 45
It's the adult version of "I'm telling mommy"
quarterbird 18
Trunk lids are on hinges and, therefore, swing up and away from the rear bumper. Unless she was leaning against the rear bumper AND has Big Bird's beak for a chin... I smell a scam and/or bullshit.
Inkoseh 33
Think SUV or a flat-back car. They open up and out, and if she had just so happen to walk by in the lot towards her own car/store and she got hit, that's how. She doesn't really have a case, although OP is a butt for opening the trunk when he wasn't even near his car.
daaniel69 6
I would've kept walking past my car pretending I didn't know what she was talking about