Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
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Top comments
EBA2013_fml 12
Why was she so close to your car in the first place?
darshini_ii 24
Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.
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Comments (52)
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
funny story
IronMan_Mk43 20
i hope you did not apologise because an apology is counted as an admission of guilt and can be used against you by the plaintiff in court
MadJessTic 29
Sounds like she did that on purpose.... Evil conniving little old lady!
FrustratedFrank 12
I feel terrible that my first thought would have been, "BOOM! HEADSHOT!"
ohsnapword 21
Wish her luck and leave. Deny everything.
Shade1982 21
I'd be careful with that. If there are witnesses, that could be construed as fleeing the scene, which is an offense.
Benderama 8
Fvck that old b!tch
benjamn 24
Back over her quick, while shes on the ground.
me2racer 3
Make sure to check for a dent, maybe you can sue her! lol
kat2943 20
Even if you have a hatch back she had to be really close to your car to get hit like that
corky1992 33
How did that even happen?