Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
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Top comments
P1MP1N 0
wow, that really sucks. its not your fault at all, how were you to know that the kid had down syndrome? You were just doing your job. Don't worry about it man
betsymonty 0
You shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the law, and you should definitely tell your boss what happened.
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Comments (243)
fantome_fml 0
#2 #4 #7 #12 uhh....bike Lane
Mc09toofine 0
wow......that really sucks..l hope you'll be ok
I2OI3 0
WELL I HOPE THAT MISCHIEVOUS YOUNG MAN LEARNED HIS LESSON, YOUR BOSS THAT IS.
Sloshdude88 0
hey man that just stinks thats just as bad as my Ipod getting stolene
Dante1337 0
um... no it's not. it's worse than getting your iPod stolen. it leaves you with a "man, I feel like an ass" kinda feeling. but op, thank you for doing our job
failwhatwhat 0
whoever said that YDI is completely wrong, it was totally not under the OP's jurisdiction, he had to do as his commanding officer told him to. anyway, i have a similar law (no scooters on sidewalks) in my town and it is so people are not in harms way while walking down our main street and buying things. the police mainly ignore it and i definitely agree that it is pointless. poor OP and poor kid!
althemaster 16
You're not allowed to bike on the sidewalk?!?!!
ben26_fml 0
FYL and **** your boss
shameonmedude 0
#12 people with DS have disticnt looks....it's hard not to tell if someone has downsyndrome, even if you cant see their face......please learn your facts.
ka_mc 0
hahahahahahha thats a sin
ikithme 0
Just in case you all didn't know (And it seems most of you don't) bikes are considered moving vehicles not pedestrian vehicles so yes in the road you all go... Just be considerate because 200 pounds of flesh and light metals are no contest for a car or truck for that matter.